Yeah, I know the title is a stretch. Work with me here.
Say you have a girl in your life who likes to cook. Or bake. Or stand in the kitchen with a cocktail and pretend she knows what she’s doing.
Then say a holiday like Christmas or Flying Spaghetti Monster Day or Tuesday rolls around. And you’re expected to get her a present. (duh)
So you’re stuck trying to find something that shows you pay attention, yet doesn’t get you in trouble. (like that one time you got her a blender because you thought she’d like to make milkshakes)
In the interest of helping you not have to sleep on the couch until New Year’s, here is my humble offering of suggestions you should probably listen to. (ha)
1. The Mis Cositas Virgin De Guadelupe apron from Pinupgirlclothing.com
Not only is this apron bright, it’s also super sassy. And a little sexy, if you like that sort of thing. Plus, nothing can go wrong in your kitchen if you have the Virgin Mary on your side. Or your apron. I’m not Catholic, I don’t know these things.
(ps, all hate mail can be sent to email@example.com.)
2. The Bella Vintage Apron from Boojiboo.
I love the flared skirt on this one, and the black & white damask with the pink accents (they also have it in a really cute cupcake print). I think this would be one of my “fancy aprons” like my grandma used to wear when she had company, over her dress while serving dinner.
Damn. I miss my grandma. She totally would not have worn pink. She was a badass. Like Donna Reed. But with an attitude.
3. The Nora Retro apron in ruby dot from Bella Pamella.
Again, my grandma would have totally rocked this. In fact, I think she had one just like this. Only hers was blue and green and purple and black paisley, and she was a monster in the kitchen.
This one looks like I’d be afraid to get it dirty.
(question: Does anyone else have work aprons and party aprons? No? Just me?)
4. The Ava Bib apron in the 50’s kitchen print from Jessie Steele.
I think the biggest reason I love this is that it has a red mixer on it.
Also, I think the oven has a smiley face.
And it’s just horribly fun.
5. The I Love Lucy retro apron from loverdoversclothing. (all of their aprons are fantastic, actually)
I have an unnatural affinity for Lucille Ball. I think she’s amazing and a pioneer of female physical comedy and her hair is fantastic and I want all of her dresses.
I even carried an I Love Lucy lunchbox when I worked for the Evil Empire a few years ago.
And now I forgot what I was talking about.
6. And last, but certainly not least…the Baking is Sexy apron from theboldbanana.
This would be one of my “work aprons”. It’s functional AND cute.
I’d have chocolate cupcake batter all over this in 7.2 seconds. And would LOVE IT.
In conclusion, don’t buy your wife/girlfriend/chick you know a blender.