Roller derby makes me feel like it’s ok to wear an outfit like that horrific ensemble to the left there….and that nobody will laugh at me or make me feel like a whale, or point out that my control top pantyhose is TOTALLY SHOWING or tell me that just because Derby Skinz come in a size XXXL doesn’t mean that I should ACTUALLY WEAR THEM.
It allows a girl like me, who is not model skinny and most of the time is hiding in yoga pants and big baggy sweatshirts and hoping to the good Lord that nobody is looking at my VPL or wondering why I don’t brush my hair more often, to feel like it’s ok to wear whatever the hell I want because everyone else is wearing what they want and I can be confident that despite the fact that those shorts are super tiny, they show that I have the balls to WEAR WHAT I WANT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I wish real life was like that. On our way home last night, I hadn’t bothered to change out of the outfit before we got in the car…and we stopped at a rest stop.
The girl who was standing at the sink while I was washing my hands looked at me like I had lost my damned mind, and said “Why on earth would you wear that?”
I wish my answer had been “Because I don’t care what anyone else thinks and I do what I like and what makes me feel awesomesauce”, but I just looked at her and walked out.
Why can’t I have derby pride in my regular life? I sound all big and bad sometimes, but honestly when confronted, I’d rather just walk away and crawl back into my hole and cry. I need to have balls more often. (hahaha)
ANYWAY! This weekend was totally awesome, and will merit its own post, because that ish was BANANAS.
But this past Thursday, I heard from the Scary Doctor and I AM ALL CLEAN OF CANCER. I won’t have to ever see her again (barring unforeseen circumstances) and I don’t have to have another person poke my girly parts with sharp things for another 6 months! I AM SO EXCITED.
And I lost 8 pounds (down to 246), but that’s not as exciting :)
Not changing the goals this week, going to try and work harder on making the first goals HABITS and then add more next week.
HAPPY MONDAY EVERYBODY!