Mamavation Monday: Post-Apocalyptic Workouts

Fruits and vegetables from a farmers market. c...

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So as I hinted to in my last post, I had a pretty big week. I had a giant explosion of “OMG” and have been dealing with the resulting fallout.

And often in times like these, people (like the “Old Me”) seek comfort in food.

New Me has a different approach. All veggies.

I ate a lot of veggies this week. And I put a lot of stuff in jars. I’ve discovered that if I am feeling bad, I don’t necessarily want to EAT food, I apparently want to CREATE it.

So I made yogurt. And cheese. And bread. And Rhubarb BBQ Sauce. And more jam.

And all of that movement through the kitchen (even though I didn’t work out a stitch) and cleaning the house and moving furniture and generally not doing a lot of sitting down….I maintained this week.

No loss, no gain.

Usually when I hit a point of stress (and this is the most stress I’ve been under since I worked at The Evil Empire), I expect to gain at LEAST 10-15 pounds. If not more.

So maintaining is a good start.

And now I’ll work on getting workouts in to my schedule. And making sure I continue to do good things for my body.

Because my body is NOT A TRASH CAN. I need to stop putting garbage in it.

Hope you all are having a fabulous week!

Side note: whomever created glittery bathtub “crayons” should come over to my house, look at my sparkly bathtub, my glittery Twilight vampire baby and the side of my face (which seems to have broken out in a glittery rash) and tell me that glitter belongs in the hands of toddlers.

That is all.


Protected: Hard for me to say I’m sorry.

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Sometimes it sucks.

Sometimes you don’t want to get up out of bed and it seems like all of the people you encounter are cranky at you. It looks like your entire Facebook news feed and your Twitter stream and your email are full of people hating on something.

Sometimes it sucks to be you.

These are the days that you might have to try a little harder, jump a little higher, and drag your butt up off of that couch when really that spot you spent the last 2 years wearing down for yourself is so very tempting.

Sometimes you have shit that comes up and makes you just not feel like eating healthy.

Sometimes your friends keep inviting you out for ice cream, which makes you want to punch them in the jejunum, but you don’t because they are your friends and they’ll probably frown on that sort of thing.

Sometimes all you want is a Triscuit.

Sometimes you really just feel like lying in bed all day and making someone else deal with your to-do list. Sometimes your kids are screaming so loud and trying to change the channel while you do your workout DVD and you stand there while the lady on the TV jumps around and you wonder if this is all worth it.

The more you tell yourself that you’d rather be fat, the more you’ll sink back into it.

The more you say “Eh, it’s ok if I skip one day”, the more likely it is you’ll skip far more than one.

You want to be a better person. Be it for you, for your kids, for your dog, for your invisible friend. You want a better you.

And I’ll be a monkey’s uncle if my ass is gonna get smaller without some effort.

As a wise man once said:

Nothing ever comes to one, that is worth having,

except as a result of hard work.

Last night was my last night as a Mamavation mom. (You can check out my “finale” post here) Now comes my struggle with doing this on my own, without having to check in with anyone and without having the support of the whole Mamavation crew behind me.

This is just the beginning for me. I’m starting MMA boot camp 2x a week this week (yay for 5am!) and the Couch to 5k program so I can run a WHOLE 5k (instead of walk and run) with my BFF at the end of summer.

I’m going to be skating more, if I can ever get the Overlord to watch the baby.

I’m not stopping here. Oh no.

RIP Boingo the Cat.

Kitteh was not amused by our new addition.

The first time I came to Chef’s house, I met Boingo the cat. Well….I met him briefly, as he examined my feet, determined me unworthy of his attention and bolted.

And hid for the rest of my visit underneath the bed.

He was a Bengal cat, which may or may not have made him superior to everyone else in the house. He sure acted like it. He had a weird bend in his tail where it had broken when he was little, and a scar on his back from a lump that he had removed just after Chuck was born. He had weirdly human eyes (the pupils were round, not slit like most cats) and he loved to knock over water glasses.

He would sit on the dinner table while we ate dinner, and would try to eat off our plates. He loved Chuck (after the first few months, which he spent batting at her and looking at us, utterly bewildered), and let her pet him.

Despite the fact she was a bit exuberant about it.

He wouldn’t let me touch him with my hands, but since he had a pretty wicked foot fetish, he allowed me to touch him with my feet. He would make the “meow” action with his face, but no sound would come out sometimes. He loved to drink straight out of the faucet in the bathroom.

I’ve never seen a cat eat catnip, but this guy loved to eat it. He was our tiny fuzzy stoner.

He liked to hide and jump out at you in the dark, and would sit outside Chuck’s room when she went down for a nap and HOWL at the top of his kitteh lungs. He did not care for the ferret, and sometimes would look at you as she came running towards him with a face that said “Really? REALLY?”

He was a funny cat, and his kitteh sister and his human baby (and me) miss him terribly.

He passed away at the vet’s office this morning after a battle with an illness.

RIP dude…hope they put a lot of water glasses out for you in kitteh heaven.

A Cupcake Manifesto

Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia

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According to Wikipedia:

a manifesto is a public declaration of principles and intentions, often political in nature. Manifestos relating to religious belief are generally referred to as creeds. Manifestos may also be life stance-related.

I have been kind of floundering around trying to figure out what to do lately. I have big ideas and no clue how to go forward with them.

So I am creating a manifesto for this blog. That way, I will know what to write about when I get stuck.



  • I will continue to complain about my in-laws, brag about my kids and my fiance and generally be awesome whenever I feel like it.
  • At least once a month but no more than once per week, I will host a review/giveaway.
  • I’ll keep talking about roller derby. In fact, I’ll talk about it more often. (Hopefully will have some exciting derby-related news for you within the next few months…)
  • Once a month, I’ll make something or cook something from the new issue of Martha Stewart Living. Just to prove it can actually be done.
  • I will post at least three times a week.
  • I will make something crafty once a month (other than the Martha piece) and show you how to do it.
  • I will post at least 3 recipes a month.
  • Once a month, I will post about one of the kickass places near where I live. There are a lot of them.
  • I will continue to post about my weight loss journey, since I have 50 pounds to go!
And some basic guidelines for me (and for you to expect!):
  • I will take more/better photos for you guys.
  • I will be making more stuff and taking more pictures.
  • I will continue to be random and awesome and me.
  • I will not be turning this into a foodie blog, but I will talk about food more often.
  • 100% more dancing.

I’m hoping eventually I will get a new camera, but for now, I will have to figure out how to make my point-and-shoot work better.

So now that I’ve talked all about myself, I will say this: HAPPY MONDAY! 😀


And the winner of the Bondi Band (thanks to Random.Org)…..


Which belongs to either Lisa or Jenny (you didn’t leave your name!) at A Little Tete a Tete!

May 10, 2011 @ 05:00:49 [Edit]

I follow them on FB

Congrats! I’ve sent an email. Thanks to everyone who entered! We do have another giveaway coming up this week….stay tuned!

Tina Fey is my pretend BFF

Found this on one of my friend’s Pinterest boards (will have to talk about my unnatural obsession with that another time) and had to reblog. (AND DON’T FORGET TO ENTER MY GIVEAWAY.)

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches. May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer. Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.

Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.”

And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes. Amen.”

-Tina Fey

My Hair is a Nightmare. (GIVEAWAY!!)


I have very nice hair. When it behaves.

However, when I am doing exercise of ANY SORT, it is out of freaking control. So when Rebecca over at Bondi Band offered one of her wicking (and WICKED) headbands to try out, I jumped on it.

Out of the pretty massive selection they have on that website, I chose a plain green headband. It’s my favorite colour and isn’t the colour of one of our home teams in our derby league. (impartiality is SUPER important when reffing, yes?)

First day I got it, I wore it underneath my derby helmet at an open skate. Now that thing is already pretty tight. My head is enormous, and apparently a 3xl helmet doesn’t fit. (No, I’m not kidding. Insert “giant melon” joke here.)

It not only fit under the helmet, it nicely sucked my copious amounts of perspiration (you’re welcome for that mental image) away from my face. I’m totally used to having to wear sweat wristbands on my forearms to wipe away sweat (not always helpful) and I didn’t have to use them this time.


Before I went on our run

So I took it out for a run with the baby.

I’m notorious for having to stop and remove the bandana I normally use about 9 times on our daily hikes.

So we went on a 2.2 mile hike/jog. It was sunny outside. I perspired more than normal, because I was wise and wore a sweatshirt that I (for some reason) did not remove when it got warm.

It didn’t move. I’m not even kidding….my hair usually causes things to slip off or slide out and it’s REALLY hard for me to

After the run. Please ignore my paleness and lack of makeup.

find a headband that fits because of my enormous noggin.

But I dig these bands. A lot.

So much so, that I bought 3 more. Two for me and one for my lovely friend Ketta (her derby name…she’s an anesthesiologist, so her name is Ketta Mean) who ran my 5k with me this past Saturday.

It rained so incredibly hard during our 5k that we were completely soaked to the bone.

Even our underpants.

Rain was running down the back of my shirt, trickling down my legs….but the Bondi Band was keeping the water from running down our faces.

Before we nearly drowned while running.

So we were very satisfied.

Plus, they have some pretty radtastic sayings…Ketta’s says “WILL SKATE FOR BEER” and mine says “SUCK IT UP CUPCAKE”.

So they run about $8 a piece, come in a lighter wicking lycra (for those of you who don’t sweat buckets like I do) and a heavy-duty fabric (which is what all of mine are.)

They also sell wicking hats and towels, but I personally can’t speak to those 🙂

So….because she’s so awesome, Rebecca is offering one of her rad headbands to one of you! Winner gets to pick whichever style, colour and saying he/she chooses!!

“How do I enter”, you say? Good question! (US residents only!!)

MANDATORY ENTRY: Go to the Bondi Band website, check out their selection and come on back over here and leave a comment telling me which one you like the best.


  1. Follow Bondi Band on Twitter!
  2. Follow me on Twitter!
  3. “Like” Bondi Band on Facebook!
  4. “Like” Bruises in the Frosting on Facebook!
  5. Subscribe to Bruises in the Frosting (Click the “Heck Yes!” button over there on the right)
  6. Tweet this giveaway! (“Hey! @miacupcake is giving away a sweet @bondiband on her blog! Run on over and check it out! Ends 5/13“) YOU CAN DO THIS UP TO FIVE TIMES PER DAY. But please not all at once….nobody likes spam. Don’t forget to leave a comment for each!!
  7. Post this giveaway on your Facebook Wall! (make sure to link back to the Bruises in the Frosting FB page, and make the post visible to “everyone” so we can see you!)
Giveaway runs through NOON this Friday, May 13th. Winner will be chosen using Random.Org and has 24 hours to respond to notification. If winner fails to respond within 24 hours, an alternate winner will be chosen.
DISCLAIMER: FCC makes me say I received a Bondi Band to review. I did not receive any other compensation, nor was I asked to give false witness about the product. All opinions are mine, and the honest to RuPaul truth. Thanks and have a nice day.

Coloring outside the lines

Today sucked. Not gonna lie.

Chef was off at work cooking brunch for all of the other moms out there, and I was home with Chuck, sick as a dog.

Had to cancel plans with my family & scrap my hope to see Ina May Gaskin speak.

I was disappointed, at the very least.

But part of life is being sad and let down and angry and all of that….and part of who we are is how we deal with the crap parts.

You can’t shove them under the rug. You can’t wallow in them forever. You can’t dwell on it until you’re a wreck.

However, how you deal with heartache and puffy eyes and illness is up to you.

But don’t EVER let someone else tell you how to feel. Own your emotions and feel them.

Be sad if that’s what you feel. Have your big ugly sobbing cry while you talk to your friend on the phone about your stupid ex who dumped you on Valentine’s Day. Then get over it.

And to all my ladies out there in a relationship: please don’t lose your “self” while creating your “us”.

Putting on a happy face is one thing, but constantly suppressing your ideas and your joy and what makes you the big glittery YOU that you were born to be is something different. Don’t EVER dumb yourself down for ANYONE.

If they don’t like you coloring outside the lines, screw ’em.

Happy Mother’s Day to all my mommas out there….especially the ones living a big bright life as a great example for their babies.


On The Road Again


I just figured out how to blog from my phone. So I still can tweet, but now for those moments when 140 characters just won’t cut it, I can do this now 🙂

Oh, and Chuck says hi.

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