Life Lessons Learned from Labyrinth

Labyrinth (film)

Image via Wikipedia

Because I’ve started working (from home), I don’t have as much time on my hands to idly daydream about all of the blog posts I would like to write.

However, since Labyrinth is one of my favorite movies and I just happened to find it on Netflix Instant, here is a list of 30 life lessons that you can learn while watching it:

  1. Never threaten to do something you don’t think is a good idea. Like threatening to ask the Goblin King to take your baby brother because he’s crying because he’s afraid of lightning.
  2. Ask the question you want the answer to. Don’t butter people up when you need directions. Asking why they are killing faeries is not going to find you the entrance to the Labyrinth.
  3. Don’t overlook people because of their size/age/resemblance to a wooly blue caterpillar. They could be very helpful and invite you into their caterpillar house for tea.
  4. Make sure you get all of the information before you run off into a labyrinth. Although if you do, make sure that you plan other hardships to lengthen the journey to make it suitable for a full-length feature film.
  5. Goblins make horrible babysitters. Although apparently a musical number entertains babies enough that they stop crying.
  6. David Bowie is the most badass human ever. Who else would rock waist-high skintight stirrup pants without a tuck and a haircut that resembles what would happen if I stuck my head in a food processor? Not me, that’s for sure. I have standards that include a firm “no camel toe” policy.
  7. Using what you have on your person if you find yourself lost in a strange place is very resourceful idea. But throwing it in a fit of pouty-ness is a horrible idea.
  8. Life is hard and unfair. But marching around saying how unfair it is and how hard it is just makes the rest of us roll our eyes and go do the dishes until you come to your senses or there’s another musical number.
  9. There is a way to conquer any hardship. Even something like an oubliette. You just need to not panic and use your brain. Or somebody else’s brain.
  10. Sometimes, just when you think that you’re on the right track, Jareth the Goblin King (or something/someone comparable) shows up and throws a wrench in the works. Or a ball down the hall, which makes a really scary sharp thing called “The Cleaners” which tries to chop you up.
  11. Don’t ever say something is a piece of cake. Then #10 will happen.
  12. Respect your elders. They’ve seen a lot and can help you. And they are very interesting. Even if they have a bird growing out of their head.
  13. Things aren’t always as they seem. (this ties in with #3) Sometimes things are big and loud and scary and sometimes they are Ludo.
  14. Sometimes you have to make people do things they don’t want to do. It sucks. But you pinch their nose shut and shove that ring back in their mouth and open the door. But apologize first, that apparently makes it ok.
  15. It’s not always an easy journey for the short ugly dude. Sometimes he gets stuck in servitude to the Goblin King while he’s trying to do the right thing. So while you’re off partying, don’t forget the people that helped get you there.
  16. You should probably keep your distance from anyone who has red hair and plays dice with their eyeballs. Or soccer with their head.
  17. Kissing someone who is not willing is NEVER a good idea. You could get sent to the Bog of Eternal Stench. Or jail.
  18. In life, there are bumps in the road to your goals. Like stinky bogs and tiny foxes who ride English Sheepdogs. Just handle things logically and usually it will work out.
  19. Do what you do best. Some people are fierce and tiny, others can call rocks. Everybody has their own thing.
    Jareth in his first scene

    Image via Wikipedia

  20. If you are hungry and someone “just happens” to be carrying fresh fruit, it’s probably not ok. It’s either smushed from wandering the labyrinth, or it’s filled with LSD and will make you think you’re in a big fluffy white dress and dancing with Jareth. Related: bubbles are not always a good thing.
  21. Just because you get to wear a big pretty dress and get your hair done doesn’t guarantee you’ll have a fairy princess of a time. i.e. my senior prom. And the masquerade party where Sarah falls through the mirror. And my friend’s wedding I missed a few weeks ago (she got appendicitis in the middle of the ceremony and spent her wedding night getting her appendix removed).
  22. Too much stuff is overwhelming. Pare it down. And if they recreate your bedroom in the middle of a garbage dump, maybe you might want to rethink your decorating scheme.
  23. When the walls are crumbling down around you, your friends are there to pull you out. Hopefully. Most of them, at least. Unless they are hiding because they are cowards and got you into that trouble in the first place.
  24. Sometimes a sneak attack is a better idea than knocking on the door and making a bunch of noise. If you make a lot of noise, the giant door-robot-knight can be alerted to your presence and make things difficult for you.
  25. Good triumphs over evil. Mostly. Even if evil has fabulous makeup and an amazing purple coat that I really want and tight pants tucked into boots.
  26. If there isn’t a way, MAKE ONE. If you’re Ludo and need a door, you just pull a wall open.
  27. When it seems like someone is just sitting there and howling, they could be calling the rocks in to save your ass. So don’t judge your friends on their visible activity level.
  28. MC Escher makes my head hurt. That’s not necessarily a life lesson, but too many rapid perspective changes make me ill. I can never watch the scene where they’re wandering in the room full of stairs trying to find the baby.
  29. Saying out loud “You have no power over me” is a powerful thing. Try it next time you’re with someone who thinks they own you. Or even when they’re not around and you’re thinking about them AGAIN.
  30. A big party is always the way to finish out a crazy adventure. So your week was a crazy adventure I bet, go have a party. Eat takeout off the good china. Whatever your brand of party is, big or small, do that for yourself tonight. 🙂
Enjoy your weekend everybody!

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Pipi
    Jun 03, 2011 @ 19:26:35

    Absolutely awesome movie! Great life lessons!


  2. Sandra
    Jun 07, 2011 @ 22:27:43

    I firmly agree with your policy as stated in #6! 😉


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