Protected: Hard for me to say I’m sorry.

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Floating in Cyberspace: Mamavation Monday

A "Penrose stairs" optical illusion

Image via Wikipedia

UPDATE 8:18 pm – I am now officially a Mamavation Mom 🙂 Thanks to everyone who voted for me, posted pleas on their Facebook or Twitter for me, and especially to my partner in crime, Lethal.

Which is not her real name, of course. 🙂


This post is really hard for me to write (mostly because of the photos). So if you actually KNOW me in “real life”, and you’d like to continue your perception of me as-is and not scarred by the craziest “Before” pictures EVER, then I would suggest that you go read Ali’s blog…especially if you haven’t before.

So I watched Inception last night. And about 1:45 into the movie, I started losing it. I have no idea why, but the floating and the (SPOILER ALERT) “IS IT A DREAM??” and the fall and….I think I was thinking too much and I was all torqued up already about the results of the Mamavation Mom contest….

I had to cover my eyes for about 3 minutes. Yes, I am aware this may make me weird.

I’m just glad we didn’t go see it in the theatres, or my brain would have fallen out of my head, or something equally terrifying.

ANYWAY! So there’s a scene where the world is moving around and the guy is running around trying to keep up with the movement, and I feel like that’s what I’m doing this week.

This is Chuck. She owns my ass. Also, this is my favorite Chuck face EVER.

My world is moving really fast and I’m just frantically trying to make sure that I stay upright so I don’t fall down, or run into walls. Lots of changes this week and I’m maneuvering so I can keep track of all of them, make sure the kids are fed and still fit in my workouts, which have been leaving my muscles SCREAMING.

*deep breath*

SO! Without further ado, here are my “before” measurements & photos for either Move it or Lose it, or the Mamavation Mom campaign. (I won’t know until tonight …by 7pm PST! Watch my twitter feed around then if you’d like to know 🙂 ) You can find the photos *after* the jump….


If you don’t love yourself…

The EA Sports Complex Red Poker Room.

Image via Wikipedia

…how the hell you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen? ( – RuPaul, at the end of every Drag Race episode)

I think that quote is so true.

And it’s taken me a lotta years to come to grips with the fact that I absolutely HATED myself for a long time. A LONG TIME.

I hated who I was. I hated what I did. I hated who I was with. I hated what kind of parent I was to poor Short Stack.

That’s a lot of hate for one person. It eats you alive, consumes your whole being and causes everything around you to be coloured with a little bit of “WHY AM I DOING THIS??” And it’s probably the worst thing I can admit out loud….that I couldn’t stand my own self for most of my life.

And after a lot of work, a mini-fight with cancer, another baby and a SUPER SUPPORTIVE set of family and friends, I can honestly say I think I’m pretty awesome.

Now I just have to work on the outside to match the inside.

So here I continue on my journey to a healthier me. One that can wear jeans, and chase the kids and coach soccer and not have to take a nap halfway through the day because story time wiped me out.

SO! Goals for this week?

  1. Keep not smoking. (I fell down a couple of times on this one in the past few days, but I recognize my triggers and when I’m more susceptible to WANTING to smoke, and am carrying gum. Gum is my secret weapon.
  2. More water. (I would like to say I’ve rocked this one, but again, I fell down. I’m picking myself up and dusting myself off, and continuing with this one. 40oz today so far!)
  3. Less junk food. (I had McDonald’s on Thursday. It sucked. No more. I’ve been keeping away from junky foods and have been buying more fruits. Even started making myself a morning smoothie! WOOT)
  4. NEW – Move. (Even if it’s walking down the street to the mailbox and back, it’s movement. I have the EA Sports and a stationary bike, so 20 minutes daily of walking or exercise video or what have you is my goal.)

Mamavation question of the week:  How do you encourage your children to contribute to your family’s healthy lifestyle?

Chuck (at 16 months) is too tiny to contribute right now. But chasing after her and saving her from breaking the house is keeping me busy.

Short Stack (11yrs) is a little more helpful. He is not a big sweets fan (he just likes Reese’s Pieces and peppermint ice cream) so he’s keeping me honest when I see him. He’s the healthiest one out of anyone in our family – big fan of sports and loves to run around and has a “green smoothie” (with this powder, a banana and some milk) every morning.

So I guess Chuck keeps me moving and Short Stack keeps me on track nutritionally 🙂 And I hope I can begin to inspire them to not spend a giant chunk of their lives sitting on the couch watching reality television.

This post is sponsored by Mamavation and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway.

Sucking The Life Out of Me: Netflix, the Vampire Story

13/365 Chapter 11

Image by The Suss-Man (live from Albany, GA) via Flickr

So Fille gave up his much beloved Blockbuster account on Thursday, after learning that they were filing for Chapter 11.  Somehow, the fact he was taking the money and running into the cheaply outstretched arms of Netflix, abandoning the more expensive and less convenient caress of Blockbuster and the irony of how many people doing the same in Buster’s time of need was COMPLETELY lost on him.

Anyway, I digress.

So now we have Netflix. And my life is ruined.

We have a laptop that I use to escape Mille & Fille and their dungeon of computer paraphernalia.  And on this laptop, I am now able to watch just about any television show or movie I can think of. And some I have never heard of. And some I have heard of but never really wanted to watch.

For example: in the last 36 hours, in addition to regular Mommy Pants duties (i.e. cooking, cleaning, shopping and trying not to lose my everloving mind) I have watched:

  • 7.48 episodes of Season 4 of Nip/Tuck (am horrified Julia slept with Marlo, mostly because she’s so high and mighty, not because he’s stature-deficient, and have I mentioned I love “little people”?)
  • 1.28 episodes of Gangland (from the History Channel…FASCINATING show. Really bloody & violent, though.)
  • Aeon Flux (Though I have to admit, 9/10ths of this was watched through my eyelids. Not sleeping, just quiet.)
  • 3 episodes of Wonder Pets
  • 1 episode of Sid The Science Kid
  • Planet 51
  • Now playing: Fantasia 2000 (Chuck likes the music, Short Stack tries to copy the animation 🙂

Now, for $12, I am paying Netflix to suck my brain, my free time and my concentration right out through my eyeballs. My brain is trying to file for chapter 11 just to recover and recoup some of its melting brain cells before it’s too late.

Last night, between the Soul Sucker Netflix and Chuck deciding sleep is for the weak, I got 2 hours of sleep from 5am to 7am. I am also currently at my mother’s house, which means I have a 90 minute drive home tonight.

This could be fun.

Not all vegans are jerks.


Image by hisashi_0822 via Flickr

So yesterday, I got a incredibly asshatted nice email from an anonymous source saying that because I wear leather shoes and “don’t care about the animals”, that I am not a vegan. That according to Ellen DeGeneres and her glossary of vegan terms, I am merely a vegetarian. They said (I use “they” because they didn’t sign the email, nor was there gender indication in the email address itself) that saying that I was being vegan “for the health of it” was akin to telling the animals that I was ok with them being slaughtered for their muscles and their wool.

I didn’t know what to say…at first. I honestly sat there, shocked and appalled that a total stranger would take the time out of their day to write such a hurtful email to someone they (may have?) never met.

Then I realized this person is one of the vegans that run around telling everyone that they’re doing everything wrong, and that they are HORRIBLE PEOPLE for wearing leather shoes or wool or eating meat, and will hand you a pamphlet with graphic depictions of cows being slaughtered as you walk out of a burger joint. (We’ll call that type of person a JV = a Judgemental Vegan)

After mulling this over for a bit, and in the interest of finding out how educated my friends/family are about veganism, I asked a couple of friends (via various methods…Facebook and Twitter mostly) to name the first thing that popped into their mind when I said the word vegan and here’s what they said:

  • What exactly do you eat? I mean, I know you eat plants and stuff, but really, where do you get your protein?
  • That one guy who stands on the corner near my son’s preschool and hands out “meat is murder” leaflets. He always yells at me for wearing leather shoes.
  • Omigod, don’t you have to throw out your leather or something? I’ll take your Frye boots if you’re just going to throw them out.
  • I met a lady the other day who was vegan, and she was HUGE. I thought all vegans were skinny hippies? No offense.
  • Don’t you have to eat tofu all the time? I don’t like tofu. I just couldn’t do it.

I had to break it to that last person that the frosting on the cupcakes I made her the other day had tofu in it. 🙂

Conclusion? People are shockingly uneducated (as I was when I first thought about switching) about vegans, veganism and plant-based diets in general.

Anyway – after chatting with a lovely (and totally non-judgemental) fellow vegan, I decided that this person (who thinks sheep get slaughtered for their wool….obviously completely mis-informed) just needs to calm down and that I can ignore them and not take all of their vitriol to heart.

People like my anonymous emailer are what turns people off from listening to vegans and what they have to say. It’s a basic tenet of life: If you’re rude, condescending and judgmental, nobody is going to want to stick around and hear what you have to say.

However, on the flip side, if you’re kind and share with others, you bake vegan goodies for get-togethers or bring a vegan dish to a potluck (if, for no other reason, so YOU have something to eat!), if you address all questions about your lifestyle with kindness and don’t take them as accusations, if you live your life the way you like and with a big dose of kindness, then people will be more open to listening to the “vegan party line.”

In other words Anonymous Emailer? CALM THE FUCK DOWN AND LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE. I’m going to just keep doing me. 🙂

Note #1: yes, I am aware that sheep do not die when their wool is sheared. I’m still a “new vegan”, so I’m not entirely sure why we don’t wear wool. If you DON’T shear them, that’s cruel…so I totally don’t understand.

Note #2: I’m not throwing out my leather boots or my jacket. First off, they were all insanely expensive. (I did get rid of 2 leather jackets during The Great Purge.) Second, me throwing them away so they can rot in a landfill doesn’t help ANYONE. Third, I can’t escape wearing wool because I knit and most of the sweaters and socks I knit are wool.

CONCLUSION: If you want to call me a vegetarian, that’s fine. But I still eat vegan food and work hard to make sure I’m not consuming any animal products, so I’m going to keep calling myself a Vegan.

All images, ideas and text here is property of Mia Cupcake/Bruises in the Frosting, unless otherwise noted. Please do not copy without express permission from blog author.